The bailout should be financed by $700 billion of the roughly $1 trillion in American quarters the Canadian government has over the years secretly replaced with worthless canuck quarters in our $10 rolls of quarters, cleverly placing exactly one Canadian quarter in each roll to avoid detection and thereby stealing from America's college students, dads who have gotten too friendly with the nanny, renters, and other sundry losers.
It's not even a real country anyway.
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